A rant, snapshots and a confession.

A few last ranty haiku:

Great job, truck driver,

stopping across the crosswalk,

for no good reason.

I really enjoyed

walking through your exhaust cloud

with my two-year-old.

I hope it was worth

endangering families

to gain two seconds.

All right, for now it may be out of my system.

I am endlessly entertained by my ever-more-verbal toddler. The other morning two of his favorite shows mentioned the word "camouflage". Since then, he has been hiding things and saying, "alaflage". I think he has a rudimentary grasp of the concept.

The other thing he is working on, bless his little heart, is "yuv you Mommy." I think I have only heard it three times, but I would probably crawl on my belly through fire to hear it again.

Confession: I am a napaholic. For the last few months, after figuring out I was not getting back my energy in the second trimester, I have resigned myself (without much prodding, admittedly) to taking a nap when my toddler does. Now, however, when he starts stirring again it is difficult to actually get out of bed again. I have found myself with my brain fully alert but not physically able to move. Sigh. Maybe I should be going to bed earlier. I guess it would be helpful if the boy would stop waking in the night...I think he is working on those blasted two year molars. YAWN...

Declaration.

This blog post is hereby declared ranty-haiku post. Observe:

Dearest chirping bird,

it is four in the morning.

Shush, if you love life.

Kid screaming in street:

you really should know better.

Let the nappers nap.

If you do not want

to share your food with toddlers,

don't let them see it.

Why, no, everyone,

I had not noticed that I

am extremely huge.

When you point it out,

I am grateful; I worried

no one could yet tell.

A word to the wise:

despite your experience,

don't guess. You'll be wrong.

By the way, it's not

"any day now" that I'm due,

I have till July.

And yes, I have checked

several times with my doctor,

and no, it's not twins.

So let's let it rest

and you can think your deep thoughts

and leave me alone!

Yum. [UPDATED]

That was our friends' wedding we attended this evening, in a word. They were married in a smallish vintage movie theater downtown and hired a truly excellent caterer. The passed hors d'oevres included brie and pear mini quesadillas, bite-sized guacamole and corn salsa cups, gorgonzola cheese quiches, and even fish and chips. The dinner consisted of a bit heavier bite-sized offerings. My favorites were savory cheese "cookies" with chipotle jelly (served on sticks!), mini chicken pot pies, meatloaf "cupcakes" with mashed potato "icing," skewered shrimp with pineapple, and fried risotto cakes. Dessert was a pie bar in lieu of cake. The pieces were smallish so I sampled the mixed berry, apple, and lemon meringue, but they also had strawberry and pecan. The bride and groom, after spending about 10 minutes trying to cut a piece out of their pie for the "cake cutting" portion of the evening, ended up picking up the entire pie and taking bites out of it. Too funny.

The following day we flew in to Minnesota for the day to witness what was supposed to be the last Twins game ever at the Metrodome, which was extremely exciting. Although I can appreciate a good pitchers' duel, I also like the big blowouts for the team I'm rooting for--we got to cheer for five home runs. The place was sold out, too, so the noise level was pretty intense. Oh, and my dear husband's father got us hot dogs, only he got the jumbo ones, which are like two feet long. I called it "eight days of meat," because it really is. It took me forever to finish it, and where I'd usually want something else by the end of a three-hour game, not this time! That was a workout in itself.

On our way home very early this morning, I was made aware of an FAA regulation that I'd never seen enforced before. Apparently, we were supposed to bring proof of our son's age since he did not have his own ticket on this flight. He has flown nine other times without a word of this to us, which is what we told the ticketing agent, but she would hear nothing of it and insisted if we couldn't prove to her that he was under two, we would have to buy him a ticket to take him home. Unfortunately, on top of this distressing news, the woman decided to talk to us as if we were idiots and repeat herself unendingly. She asked us if we had any proof of his age no less than five times. After the fifth time, my husband told her "Why the hell do you keep asking us that, we already told you we don't," to which she said he didn't have to curse at her, and that he should really think about what he is saying in the presence of his child. Um, what??? Finally, I had to page my pediatrician (it was too early for the office to be open) just to have her tell the lady our son is 20 months old. While we were waiting for her to call back, the lady said "make sure to let me know when HE calls back." Um, lady? My pediatrician's office has at least ten doctors, only one of whom is a male. Does that make them bad doctors or something?? Our pediatrician hadn't heard of that requirement either, so it must be a fairly new thing to enforce. In any case, we'll have to get a little copy of his birth certificate in case they ask for it again, I guess. Grrr. 

Finally, I noticed that no one has yet taken on the ode. I don't know what to do about that development; I'd like to write something else soon, but it's kind of depressing to leave the last challenge behind with no entries. What do you all think I should do? I'm also open to suggestions on what the next challenge should be. Please let me know!

Haiku News

Method Man's method

apparently involves a bit

of tax evasion.

People say sex sells,

but it doesn't sell as much

in this recession.

Recollected...

Okay folks, I'm back in action. 

First off, I've been trying to ignore this hooey about the health care shouting match "debate", but it is just so maddening to see people getting so riled up about things that they either haven't bothered to research or are willing to buy some crazy misinformation about. In this day of miles of readily available information, it is incomprehensible to me that this can happen. WHY is it so hard to figure out what the hell you're talking about before you open your mouth? Grrrrrrrr. 

On the "ignorance is bliss" wagon, why in the world are so many parents up in arms about the President wishing to address school children about long-term goal planning and personal responsibility? Since when is good character a political issue? Good Lord, people, get ahold of yourselves. If you're so afraid of your kids being "indoctrinated," talk to them about what YOU believe and let them make up their own minds. They do have them. Rant over.

I am highly enjoying seeing my little boy explore his Mimi's house. He is really enamored of his "new" toys and all the new places to walk, run, crawl, peek, etc. He also loves to get in his Mimi's lap and talk and sing to her. Ahhh. He also got some new shoes. The first real pair he got at the beginning of the summer were 5s. Today he was measured at 6 1/2. Sheesh! I can't believe how fast he is growing. Anyone know a good flatiron store so I can get one to put on his head?

Before I forget, Paige left a beautiful rondeau on the placeholder for this week's poetry challenge. You can check it out here. I believe one other person claimed to be working on one, and others are of course welcome to join in...I'm thinking I may just wait on putting up a new challenge until next week to allow more participation.

Haiku News

California fire

was arson, according to

investigators.

High school quarterback

tackles girl with gun on bus,

saves twenty-two lives.

Taxidermy school

owner peppered with questions

on "chupacabra."

A Pissy Missive

To my husband's employer:

You suck.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the fact that you employ my husband. I don't even mind that he works a lot sometimes. It's just that the last two weeks he has worked so much that either he has flat out had no time to help with the everyday chores he usually will, or I feel guilty asking him to spend what little downtime he has helping me with menial tasks. 

I didn't sign up for this. I realize that attorneys will occasionally work crap hours, but this is getting ridiculous. I don't know how single moms and military wives deal with this all the time. I was not cut out to multitask this much. For instance, from 4:00 this afternoon, I walked to the grocery store, purchased dinner supplies, walked home (in the rain), and immediately started on preparing dinner, which took me until it was time to put our small son to bed. It would normally have been my husband's night to handle bedtime, but thanks to you, I did that too. That also meant that my dinner was delayed until after 8:00 to do so. After eating dinner I had a mountain of dirty dishes to clean so that they wouldn't collapse on me tomorrow. Again, that's something I like to ask my husband to help with usually, especially on nights when I knock myself out cooking something from scratch (in this case, North African meatballs with couscous and glazed carrots), but was forced to do myself in his lack of free time. As I type this he is eating a marshmallow treat and will go to bed immediately afterward. I (you guessed it) will not, as I need to finish my blog, which I would have done earlier had I not had to play scullery maid. UGH!!!!!!!!!! YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love and kisses,

Minerva

Haiku News

Man who crashed his plane

trying to fake his own death

gets four years; that twit.

High voter turnout

may weaken the Taliban

in Afghanistan.

North Korea thinks

since they gave us journalists,

they're owed direct talks?

Ranty Mc Rant...

Whoo, boy. The boy was MUCH happier today so I was able to focus more on what atrocities I've been ignoring in favor of vacation. But before that, I will share some truly terrific recipes I got from the Food Network. I don't know if anyone followed this year's "The Next Food Network Star," but the winner, Melissa d'Arabian, is a wonderful mother of four little girls under 5 who has a wealth of information about cooking. Also, her recipes are delicious! I prepared her Rustic Lemon and Onion Four-Step Chicken on a bed of wilted spinach with individual potato gratins (prepared in muffin tins!). Highly recommended. Even I could get it done in about an hour. Yum!

Ok, on to ranting. I allow the boy to watch Sesame Street. He gets a kick out of the Muppet characters in particular. However, the program following it, "Word World," has one feature that really bugs me. The show features all manner of creatures made up of the letters that spell their names (Bear, Duck, Cat, Ant, Pig, etc.), but ALL of them talk except for Dog, who only barks. Apparently everyone understands him anyway, but it really bothers me that somehow EVERY other animal can speak English except the dog. Oh, and Duck is a redneck. 

And what is up with the doors on public restrooms? It seems like at least 80% of them have the door mounted where the handle is on the inside. Anyone who knows that way too many people (even the women!) don't wash their hands after using the bathroom realizes that even if you wash your hands, if you have to touch a door handle that unwashed hands have touched, you re-contaminate them. OR you use ANOTHER paper towel to keep your hand from being re-contaminated. Really, how hard is it to mount the door with the handle on the outside so you can push to get OUT??? GRR!!!

Haiku News

Peanut-free night lets

allergic kids watch baseball

game without fear. Yay!

Typhoon in Taiwan

strands two hundred villagers,

turns roads into swamps.

Woman throws a mug

at Mona Lisa, but art

protected by glass.

Tip-top Tuesday

I am posting this and my weekly Poetry Challenge early today, as we are going to a concert this evening. To give you a little taste, here is some tour footage from earlier in the series:

This morning, I enjoyed the Free Pastry Day at Starbucks with my mom. When I called my husband at work later on, however, I found out that his coupon was not accepted. Apparently he visited a franchise, and they claimed that his e-mail coupon he showed them on his BlackBerry could not be honored there because they needed the paper print-out to staple to the receipt. I call foul here. I didn't see anything in the small print (which I read yesterday to figure out that I would indeed need a separate coupon for my mom and for me, and that we'd have to pay separately) that said e-mail coupons would not be accepted at the participating stores. I feel bad that my husband was looking forward to a yummy treat this morning and was left with only his much-more-expensive coffee than his normal routine at Dunkin Donuts would have provided. It's things like this that drive business AWAY, Starbucks!! Either that franchisee had no clue, or you needed to say that ahead of time so we could've printed another copy. Grr.

By the by, we discovered an amazing wine last night: Gazela Vinho Verde. When I describe it

 you may recoil a bit, but trust me, it's good. It's a Portuguese "green wine." It doesn't really look green but it is a "young" wine that is a little bit sweet and a little bit tart, with a bit of a bubble when you first pour it. It was truly refreshing, and extremely cheap. I suggest you find it if you can! (incidentally, you can get it here.)

Haiku News

Cambridge drops the charge

against Harvard professor;

stories don't agree.

Scary statistic:

seven million addicted

to prescription drugs.

Jupiter's new scar

caused by some unknown impact;

too bad, not the Pratts.

Words I Hate, Vol. 3

I am somewhat indignant. I make a habit of stopping by either Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts on the way home from my daily walk, and generally I will get some form of a nonfat vanilla latte. On occasion I will "splurge" on a coffee (light) frappuccino or Dunkin's answer to that, the coffee coolatta. I am indignant because today I stopped by one of my local Dunkins (they are nearly as prevalent as Starbucks around my area) for a coolatta (it was hot today, so I wanted the ice). What I got was the color of mud and didn't taste much better. Mind you, I ordered my drink with nonfat milk to cut the fat and calories, so I expected it to be a bit darker than the pictures, but I have ordered the same drink before and it had been lighter colored. I asked the girl who had made it, and she told me that it always looks like that when you use nonfat milk. I tasted it while there and it didn't seem too bad, so I left. Bad move...it got worse with every sip. It tasted like she had made it with 90% coffee syrup and 10% ice. I went home and dumped it in a blender with more ice, and actually put milk in it this time...and lo and behold, it was actually the drink I ordered. Sheesh, people, don't say you made it right when you clearly didn't!!

I have Cicely to thank for my second rant today, and the third about words I hate. I apologize to those who already know the difference, but it really irks me when people confuse their, they're and there. For the uninitiated, here's a little trick to tell the difference. They're is easy to remember, since it's the only one with an apostrophe. It is the contraction for the words "they are." If you are not using a sentence where you can replace "they're" with "they are," you are using the wrong word. For the other two, you need to look at the words without the initial T for a clue. Their is a possessive, like "my" or "our." When you remove the T from "their", you are left with the word "heir," a person who receives property, reminding you of the possessive. When you remove the T from "there," you get the word "here," a location. "There" is also a location, so "here" will remind you that "there" is the location word. I hope my written explanation will help at least one person not confuse them anymore! 

English lesson/rant over.

Stay tuned tomorrow for a new Poetry Challenge! That means tonight is the last chance to submit a found poem.

Haiku News

Ethnic tensions cause

rioting in Xinxiang, now

one-hundred-plus dead.

Franken to senate;

Never was funny before,

certainly not now.

Scumbags of the day:

scalpers attempted to sell

free Jackson tickets.