Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Poetry Challenge: Rewrite a bad song/ write a poem on a day of the week.

I'm not sure why I'm doing this tonight, as I am still recovering from an annoying sinus infection (is there any other kind?). But I'm by myself and nothing is going on so I guess I figured tonight would be a good night to try it.

If you don't have a social media-savvy person in your house, you may have been spared the atrocity that is Rebecca Black's "Friday" video. In a nutshell, this 13-year-old girl's parents paid a small record/video company $4000 to write her a song and produce the music video. It then went viral and was widely declared the "worst song ever." I won't make you watch it, but I will embed it here if you are brave enough to allow its assault to your ears. The poor girl has suffered quite a bit of abuse about it already, but suffice it to say, although it is a slickly produced video, I am amazed and depressed that two full grown adults were paid to write these brainless lyrics. Without further ado:

I will also enclose the lyrics here, in case you didn't catch them with all the auto-tuning going on in the video.

"Friday"

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein' everything, the time is goin'
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend

7:45, we're drivin' on the highway
Cruisin' so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right, ay
I got this, you got this
Now you know it

Kickin' in the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after ... wards
I don't want this weekend to end

R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin' in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I'm drivin', cruisin' (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin' lanes
Wit' a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C'mon) Passin' by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it's Friday, it's a weekend
We gonna have fun, c'mon, c'mon, y'all

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend


My favorite part of this whole debacle was this past March when Conan O'Brien parodied the video, suggesting she ripped off his video of a song called "Thursday." I do recommend you watch this one, especially if you actually watched the original.

Now, the challenging part. I am going to take the germ of the idea for the song ("Friday") and try to write a better song for it. If anyone wants to join me, choose a day of the week (you can do the same one if you want!), or choose a poem or song you hate and rewrite it.

All right, for better or worse, here's what I would have written (in a very short time span, mind you) for a 13 year old girl who wanted to sing about Friday. Not what I would sing about it, as I am considerably older. :)

Friday

As I arise and the sun hits my face
My mind awakes and I smile.
My favorite day at last arrived
and nothing can erase
my joy this morning.

Flying through my routine,
blowing kisses out the door,
time for the day to begin,
I don’t wanna miss a minute.

On the bus my mind wanders,
skipping ahead to tonight.
Where will my friends and I go?
Movies, sleepover, shopping?

(Chorus:) It’s Friday, Friday,
the best day of the week.
Been looking forward to this
For what seems like years.
Hanging out with friends,
sleeping in and relaxing,
nowhere to be and
nothing we have to do.

Friday night, finally,
spending time with my friends.

Anywhere we go we’ll have
fun talking and laughing.
Tonight we’ll catch a movie,
then we’ll go to my house,
sleepover party with karaoke!

Next week it’s my BFF’s
turn to be the social planner,
I know whatever she chooses,
we’ll have fun together.
Maybe we’ll tell scary stories
and try to stay up all night,
playing jokes on each other
and imagining our future lives.

CHORUS

At the end of this weekend,
I’ll wish it could last forever,
but then I’ll start looking forward
to the end of next week.
Every week has a bright spot,
the end of the tunnel,
something to get us all through
till we can start having fun again.

As you can see, I cut out all the "ah"s and the rap section and cut a few refrains, since I think they were unnecessary anyway. It probably wouldn't match up with the song, but then again I don't think even without bad lyrics that it is a terribly good song, so we're not missing much there either. So there you have it...anyone else want to take this on with me? :)

10 comments:

paige said...

BA hahahahah - what a hilarious challenge. i'll think about it...
Did you hear my mom's idea of writing a poem using the word verification that pops up? Mine is "housne"... That sounds like a dictator's first name... :)

Anonymous said...

Too loopy on Lortabs to rise to this right now, but I really like the idea. Maybe this weekend.

cicely

lovefam6 said...

hilarious, 'nuff said!

Anonymous said...

Working on it. While you wait, please enjoy some music.

*cue instrumental version of "The Girl from Ipanema"*

cicely

Minerva said...

Paige (sorry for the belated response): I hadn't heard that one, maybe I'll steal it for the next one. :)
Cicely: Hooray! that's a fun song to start with, if that's the one you're working on and not just your imagined elevator/hold music. :)

Anonymous said...

*sound of needle-scratch on record; finally "The Girl from Ipanema" stops repeating*

UNFINISHED; WILL FINISH IN A BIT
(It appears that we're closing early for the holiday; but be darned if I dump the part I've already done!)
--
--
7 a.m.?!? You have gotta be kidding!
What is this "fresh", girl; I feel half dead!
Nasty film on my teeth, my eyes feel gritty,
Cumulative sleep-lag is sure not pretty.
Still got an hour I can spend in bed!

Saturday! That's tomorrow,
Gonna sleep in at least 'til noon!
Saturday! Just watch me burrow
Back under the covers of my bed-cocoon.


Girl, you need a job; that'd give you perspective;
Front seat or the back, it don't make no diff'.
Never have understood how a car's a venue
For a party, or why wastin' gas is on the menu;
Might as well throw your cash off a cliff!

*Saturday! That's my fun day
Gonna eat pizza, gonna buy some snacks.
Saturday! Gonna rock out my way;
Gonna roll dice, make some flank attacks!

Anonymous said...

Okay; taking it from the top, only, ya know, finished, this time:

(Except that I don't have a good title for it. And the rhyme scheme isn't perfect; but then, in a song, they frequently take a few liberties, so I should be in the clear, there.)
-
-
(Rebuttal to Friday)

7 a.m.?!? You have gotta be kidding!
What is this "fresh", girl; I feel half dead!
Nasty film on my teeth, my eyes feel gritty,
Cumulative sleep-lag is sure not pretty.
Still got an hour I can spend in bed!

Saturday! That's tomorrow,
Gonna sleep in at least 'til noon!
Saturday! Just watch me burrow
Back under the covers of my bed-cocoon.


Girl, you need a job; that'd give you perspective;
Front seat or the back, it don't make no diff'.
Never have understood how a car's a venue
For a party, or why wastin' gas is on the menu;
Might as well throw your cash off a cliff!

*Saturday! That's my fun day
Gonna eat pizza, gonna buy some snacks.
Saturday! Gonna rock out my way;
Gonna roll dice, make some flank attacks!


Just goes to show, people sure do differ
In their ideas of what makes a good time.
Draggin' Main in a car, or D&Ding,
Whatever your fancy is, it's always freeing, and
When you're hangin' with your buds the time is Prime!
-
-
cicely

Anonymous said...

Or, in shorter form:


Friday ends the week
Which I agree's a good thing---
But Saturday rules.

cicely

Minerva said...

Cicely--words cannot accurately describe how much I LOVE your song. It's really terrific. :) Thanks for sharing, as always! And my sincere apologies for taking so long to respond. I read it on my smartphone which does not do blog-posting very well, and managed to forget to get on here on my computer to type. Sorry!! 1,000 points for your astute and pithy revision.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm just glad that you hadn't moved on to something else! I really wanted to take this one on. :)

cicely