Here's my attempt at a take on the 12 Days of Christmas, focusing on the not-so-nice parts of motherhood. I will come back with a more positive one soon, I promise!
The 12 Nightmares of Mom’s Christmas
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
an endlessly crying baby.
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
two poop explosions
and an endlessly crying baby.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
three spit-up puddles,
two poop explosions,
and an endlessly crying baby.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
four grumpy evenings,
three spit-up puddles,
two poop explosions,
and an endlessly crying baby.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
five temper tantrums....
four grumpy evenings,
three spit-up puddles,
two poop explosions,
and an endlessly crying baby.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
six toddlers screaming,
five temper tantrums,
four grumpy evenings,
three spit-up puddles,
two poop explosions,
and an endlessly crying baby.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
seven sleepless naptimes,
six toddlers screaming,
five temper tantrums,
four grumpy evenings,
three spit-up puddles,
two poop explosions,
and an endlessly crying baby.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
eight leaky diapers,
seven sleepless naptimes,
six toddlers screaming,
five temper tantrums,
four grumpy evenings,
three spit-up puddles,
two poop explosions,
and an endlessly crying baby.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
nine whiny voices,
eight leaky diapers,
seven sleepless naptimes,
six toddlers screaming,
five temper tantrums,
four grumpy evenings,
three spit-up puddles,
two poop explosions,
and an endlessly crying baby.
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
ten predawn wakings,
nine whiny voices,
eight leaky diapers,
seven sleepless naptimes,
six toddlers screaming,
five temper tantrums,
four grumpy evenings,
three spit-up puddles,
two poop explosions,
and an endlessly crying baby.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
eleven changes of clothing,
ten predawn wakings,
nine whiny voices,
eight leaky diapers,
seven sleepless naptimes,
six toddlers screaming,
five temper tantrums,
four grumpy evenings,
three spit-up puddles,
two poop explosions,
and an endlessly crying baby.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
twelve runny noses,
eleven changes of clothing,
ten predawn wakings,
nine whiny voices,
eight leaky diapers,
seven sleepless naptimes,
six toddlers screaming,
five temper tantrums,
four grumpy evenings,
three spit-up puddles,
two poop explosions,
and an endlessly crying baby.
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