tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post2283695726926596888..comments2023-05-28T09:52:26.071-05:00Comments on Finding the Right Words: Poetry Challenge #5: SonnetMinervahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17803450940250232122noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-52837311157249001392009-07-12T22:10:50.702-05:002009-07-12T22:10:50.702-05:00Now, this is more the sort of thing I wanted to wr...Now, <i>this</i> is more the sort of thing I <i>wanted</i> to write, but refused to come together. <i>*applause*</i><br /><br />cicelyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-80629054481656812832009-07-11T23:03:53.251-05:002009-07-11T23:03:53.251-05:00Mimi--1,000 points for your perseverance, and for ...Mimi--1,000 points for your perseverance, and for writing something akin to what I was thinking about today already. :)Minervahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17803450940250232122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-56142859412815870922009-07-11T20:37:40.162-05:002009-07-11T20:37:40.162-05:00The dark of night with cool breeze sweet,
Gives re...The dark of night with cool breeze sweet,<br />Gives respite from day's toil and strife;<br />Soothes cares away with restful sleep,<br />Renews, refreshes us for life.<br /><br />The sky, more grey each passing hour<br />Presages morn with tasks to meet.<br />At last relinquishing night's power<br />To day and light and bright sun's heat.<br /><br />A chance, fresh possibility<br />Every day a new beginning,<br />Trying to reach nobility -<br />Goal trancendent, still abiding.<br /><br />Twenty four hours in every day<br />Oh! May we use them well, I pray.<br /><br /><br />I know I've only got 4 iambs per line - but I've burned up the others trying to put this poem together!Miminoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-18306886768238186552009-07-09T21:51:31.237-05:002009-07-09T21:51:31.237-05:00Paige--lovely! 1,000 points for your mysterious so...Paige--lovely! 1,000 points for your mysterious sonnet. I guess I could see where switching a word here or there would make it "fit" the pentameter mold, I don't think it takes away from its overall effect that it isn't metrically "perfect." Thanks for sharing again!Minervahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17803450940250232122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-41648771397970685132009-07-09T17:28:49.702-05:002009-07-09T17:28:49.702-05:00guh - & typo on line #11 - it should read:
Her...guh - & typo on line #11 - it should read:<br />Her pow'r when unspoken in inky black.paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11879573441359515525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-37549014158173760342009-07-09T15:26:02.373-05:002009-07-09T15:26:02.373-05:00In Secret
Alive, my secrets whisper'd in the ...In Secret<br /><br />Alive, my secrets whisper'd in the dark;<br />i note with breakneck speed, my beating heart;<br />stops midstep - unsure - and in his face mark;<br />what feeling lies therein? Words stop... then start. <br /><br />My secret swells and contracts between us;<br />Like a beating heart - no longer contained;<br />i lie still - inside all's writhing, anxious-<br />and wish fervently that she were still chained.<br /><br />What obstacle would try to hold love back?<br />What worthy foe could ambush us and win?<br />Her pow'r unspoken in inky black<br />dissipates now, becoming weak and thin.<br /><br />Secrets crip'ling blow can only love cure;<br />at home where hearts are of each other sure. <br /><br />(*i know the meter is wrong :(.. )At least Cicely's poem holds the same meter all the way through - mine is all random... i don't even think i can do any better...paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11879573441359515525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-47697317777802815562009-07-09T14:53:09.442-05:002009-07-09T14:53:09.442-05:00Cicely--I think I would have read it that way too,...Cicely--I think I would have read it that way too, had I not known he always tried to get his lines to scan in pentameter. If you give mistress' 3 syllables, it throws the whole thing off. I also think that while the syllables are "supposed" to be stressed in that pattern, I have seen many many Shakespeare plays where the acting takes precedence over line scansion (he wrote many speeches in his plays in iambic pentameter as well), and it doesn't really affect anything. It's just a way of balancing the lines, I think.Minervahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17803450940250232122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-67213526300880716972009-07-09T13:30:42.427-05:002009-07-09T13:30:42.427-05:00Okay, if the sonnet doesn't care that it's...Okay, if the sonnet doesn't care that it's short an iamb in each line, I'm not going to argue with it, but just stick a fork in it and call it "done".<br /><br />Also, you've helped me figure out <i>why</i> Shakespeare's sonnet was messing me up; where apparently he intended <br /><br />My/MIS/tress/EYES/are/etc.,<br /><br />what <b><i>I</i></b> hear is<br /><br />My/MIS/tress/es EYES/etc.<br /><br />which kept throwing me off. (Also, I've just reminded myself of another frequently-encountered "oops"---ect. instead of etc. More <i>grrrrr</i>.)<br /><br />cicelyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-65231577391783873072009-07-08T22:41:21.017-05:002009-07-08T22:41:21.017-05:00Cicely--I don't believe there is a metric requ...Cicely--I don't believe there is a metric requirement. Most people try to make all their lines within a sonnet the same meter, but I don't think it is required to use a particular one. As far as yours vs. the Shakespeare example, Shakespeare wrote in iambic pentameter, in which each line is made up of five iambs, or two-syllable parts in which the first syllable is unstressed and the second is stressed (my MIS/ tress' EYES/ are NO/ thing LIKE/ the SUN). Yours falls into tetrameter, or four iambs per line (i JUST/ can't GET/ these THINGS/ to GEL). I don't think that's a problem but that's why you didn't think it was matching up. If you're trying to do that, you're missing an iamb. :)Minervahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17803450940250232122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-43959930417024310252009-07-08T21:30:35.204-05:002009-07-08T21:30:35.204-05:00Ah, sweet, sweet flattery! You are both far too k...Ah, sweet, sweet flattery! You are both far too kind!<br /><br />But seriously, <i>are</i> there meter restrictions on sonnets? (I <i>think</i> that's what I mean to ask.....you know, the part where it goes<br />'-'-'-'<br />-'-'-'-'<br />or<br />-'--'--'-<br />-'--'--'-<br />or whatever?) Or does sonnetness lie solely in the abab cdcd efef gg endings? I wasn't sure, and I <i>tried</i> to use the Shakespeare poem as a guide, but feel that I mislaid it, somewhere. Is my meter valid? If not, what <i>are</i> the requirements?<br /><br />Unfortunately, most of my posting is done from my machine at work, which I may not substantially alter as to hardware or software. Or beating it to death with a baseball bat. So, for the forseeable future, I'm stuck with Internet Exploder, which sees fit to dump me out at <i>least</i> twice a day, siezes up at inconvenient times, and generally studies ways to ruin my day. I've got more latitude on my at-home machine (and being married to a Computer God has its perks), but only <i>some</i> of my bookmarks are over on the Firefox (and I can get no more specific, since the finer points of the tech-toys baffle me), and I have no idea what it would do if I tried to copy them across. With <i>my</i> luck, the machine would probably catch fire.<br /><br />cicelyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-51303050836703467012009-07-08T20:16:36.865-05:002009-07-08T20:16:36.865-05:00Cicely--a terrific sonnet expressing the frustrati...Cicely--a terrific sonnet expressing the frustration of sonnet-writing! 1,000 points to you. And I agree with Mimi, you ARE a poet. Just because your subject is not highfalutin does not mean you are not a poet. :)<br /><br />As for the computer, I had the same feeling about mine until I got my MacBook. I now use Safari nearly exclusively (the Mac web browser), although Firefox is also excellent. It's a free download and works with PCs as well, if you want to avoid IE. <br /><br />Mimi--keep cracking at it, you'll get it. It would have taken me longer had this been my first sonnet-rodeo, if you will. I have done this before! It took me awhile to get the hang of it too.Minervahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17803450940250232122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-43917826020800776572009-07-08T18:50:17.132-05:002009-07-08T18:50:17.132-05:00I'm with you on this one, Cicely! At least you...I'm with you on this one, Cicely! At least you got yours on paper...and it perfectly expresses my frustration. :-) You ARE a poet, by the way.Miminoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-5797945712967932722009-07-08T15:10:43.222-05:002009-07-08T15:10:43.222-05:00Okay. After beating my head against the desk inte...Okay. After beating my head against the desk intermittently all day, I present my current best offering. (I'm fairly sure that there are many things wrong with it, and would appreciate its dissection. With extreme prejudice.)<br />_______________<br />Sonnet Frustration<br /><br />I just can't get these things to gel--<br />The meter never works out right,<br />The rhyme-scheme isn't going well,<br />The subject matter seems so trite.<br /><br />I hammer words into the holes--<br />Each word's a peg, not round, but square.<br />I rack my brain, but it just doles<br />Out notions as a miser'd share.<br /><br />My mind seems like it's full of fuzz--<br />As 'round and 'round the gear wheels spin,<br />And after ev'ry effort does<br />A postit fly into the bin.<br /><br />It's clear to see, I am no poet,<br />But luckily, at least I know it!<br />_______________<br /><br />In explanation, I go through a <i>lot</i> of postits. I write really, <i>really</i> small, and I use them for everything; shopping lists, dungeon scenarios, tablet weaving patterns, sketches of things...and, so my husband claims, novels (but he exaggerates). <br /><br />I'm going to keep trying.<br /><br />And now, a completely unsolicited Haiku Rant:<br /><br />My computer sucks<br />With a width and breadth and depth<br />Surpassing the seas'.<br /><br />And it sucks harder<br />Than the emptiest vacuum<br />Between galaxies.<br /><br />(Don't get me <i>started</i><br /> On Internet Explorer!<br /> <i>*vile profanities*</i>)<br /><br />cicelyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-71509889437835838782009-07-08T11:11:10.071-05:002009-07-08T11:11:10.071-05:00Cicely,
I have faith that you will come up with s...Cicely,<br /><br />I have faith that you will come up with something great. The one I posted as my own example was actually my second full sonnet, when I finished the first one I didn't like it so I wrote another. I recommend the coffee. :)Minervahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17803450940250232122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-33173122120107509422009-07-08T10:55:57.814-05:002009-07-08T10:55:57.814-05:00Oops.
cicelyOops.<br /><br />cicelyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6735825520095400787.post-2493637482185606632009-07-08T10:55:39.708-05:002009-07-08T10:55:39.708-05:00I'm on board with this challenge, but so far I...I'm on board with <i>this</i> challenge, but so far I've had 10 or 11 starts that I can't make stay together; they all want to wander off from the prescribe sonnet game-plan. Maybe if I add more coffee.....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com